Conditioning. Not the hair kind.

How conditioned are we to fear? How conditioned are we to be in a hurry? How conditioned are we to doubt? Conditioning comes from sooo many places. The neighborhood you live in. The family you grew up with. The relationship you we once apart of. My best friend lives in a big city. She has lived there for 7 years. She's planning on moving to another city, but just not as big. Her once highspeed race to catch a train, bus, taxi, will no longer be needed once she moves. The new city won't call for it. She will be conditioned to hurry, but the new place has no need for it. She can try, but the people and the scene are just far more laid back than what she's used to. My neighborhood gets a lot of police activity. A lot to me, but maybe not a lot to others. I don't walk it as casually or as much as I used to. I look over my shoulder more. It will be strange to move (and hopefully live) in an area that I don't feel the need to do that. I watch other people run, jog, stroll in other parts of the Triangle and they don't look as skittish as I feel. I envy them. My husband came back from a year long deployment to Iraq. Any noise I would make in another room of the house, Ess Gee would immediately ask, what's that?!? And I'd be like, um, Lovey, I was pulling up the blinds. OR I'd be like, uhh, I accidently dropped the lid to the pot?!? He was conditioned to fear noise due to the environment he was a part of for that year. What I pray is that when I start responding to my life solely out of the conditionings of my life, that I would stop for a minute, and then respond out of more true place. I have said before that what I feel like I need most is for the reality of a situation to begin to match up with what goes on in my head. Because so many times reality is trumped by my conditioning. I need to be more like, "Oh, yeah, I don't need to rush. The world still spins around everyday and I don't have a thing to do with it. Stuff will get done." Or, "Alright already, there is not a thief hanging around every corner, or every bush. It's gonna be okay." Or, "I am loved today, by a big, huge God today. And that's enough today. And that will be plenty today."