Shoe in...or so I thought.

     My husband and I moved to California (back to CA for me) in March of this year.  He started his new job about a week after we arrived.  I on the other hand had not been in hot pursuit for a new j-o-b because our apartment had become a small hotel with plenty of guests soon after we arrived here AND I was also the right hand gal to my best friend's wedding planning, her wedding in June.  I had to hand write placecards and help choose flowers and change out linen and let San Diego do a lot of the work of entertaining as I was simply the Vanna White of showing off the vowels of the city.  A delightful job indeed.  But after the wedding and into July, my job search had to get real.
     I had, for many, many years, been a private duty caregiver for elderly and/or disabled persons.  Now back in San Diego, I preferred not to go that route.  I wanted to mix it up.  I applied with AmeriCorps as a Disaster Preparedness Facilitator for Native American's on their reservations.  I was interviewed for the job to help various tribes prepare their homes for wild fires, ie., clear their property of debris, put in smoke detectors and make sure there's a fire extinguisher in reach.  There would be some public speaking with groups of what could be 50 people (!) and one would have to work every other weekend.  While I loved the thought of working with the Native American population (there are quite a few tribes here in the county), Ess Gee and I FINALLY got out of his past (at least for 7 years!) work schedule of being on-call every third weekend at his previous job and I was not about to muck up our ability go places on weekend's cuz' of my part-time job.  Nope and nope.  So while grateful to be interviewed, I turned it down.  The search continued.  I interviewed as a Froster at a cake shop...they had days called Black Out days where one could not take off vacations around holidays because that was their busiest season.  I apologized for wasting their time, I have never worked Food Service, so I was unfamiliar with the pressure cooker of retail holiday work.  I also knew I was in a pretty luxurious spot...I could say no to jobs.  I wasn't in such need for a job that I had to say yes to weekend's and holidays.  I was completely aware of this blessing.  But after looking, applying, looking, applying, it all became a bit long in the tooth and I went back to the route I was SURE to get a job in...caregiving for the elderly.
     The particular job I was looking at was good paying.  I would be working for an agency (so I didn't have to take out my own social security).  It was super close to our apartment and the gentleman was a 95-year-old retired Army Colonel.  I'm like, "WHAT?! It's so mine!  I am married to a man who in in the Army, has been for 22+ years, I am made for this job!"  The Colonel was said to be a tough cookie, but I am like the Elderly Whisperer, so I didn't think twice.  I applied.  I interviewed once...I interviewed again.  I waited one day.  I was telling friend's that I wouldn't be able to see 'em Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday evenings cuz I was going to be working til 7pm.  I was counting up my contribution of a paycheck to help pay down Ess Gee's school debt, getting pumped at the idea.  I thought I had it.  Until I got a call from the gentleman who owned the agency and he said, "I'm sorry, but he didn't go with you."  I held it all loosely for about an hour.  "It wasn't meant to be, etc., etc." And then it hit me, that this thing that I had ALL THE CONFIDENCE IN THE WORLD about (I've got experience, I love old people, I do good work, I got great references) did not get me through the door.  And I know it's going to sound nutty, but I really liked getting schooled in humility.  I shook my head at my own ego.  I didn't want this lesson to go unnoticed.  I wanna learn it.  Because the greater part about any of this is---it    ain't    about     me.
     I could try to shove my way through doors with my own shining, gold-star report card with all the Look At Me's---how smart am I, how clever am I, how funny am I, but even that may not win me the position.  And it's going to sound contradictory, but I am glad that this is not the case.  It takes the pressure off.  Now granted, I don't always look at things in this way, but at this juncture, it's working:-).
     It's this mixed bag of "Don't get too cocky, It's not solely about your strength's, It's about leaning into God, learning to trust in His work and not just your own" and "Thank goodness it's not up to me to be the most intelligent, most beautiful, most successful" because we all know that that's too much work and pressure and it doesn't always equal happiness;-).
   I will say this, I did finally get a job---helping elderly move from one home to another.  I am not the moving company, I only work alongside the movers to pack boxes and unpack boxes once the move is done.  And I love it!!!!  It's part-time/as needed, so I can say no or yes to a job depending on the week.  It's BUSY work and concentrated work and just enough...just enough interaction, just enough responsibility, just enough actual work.  I am so spoiled and happy to be.
    Things did work out after all, and hopefully, because of this experience I am a little more reticent in letting my big head go first...(said with a smirk;-)!)