So different, so wonderful.

The woman I work for has been placed in Hospice Care, still in her home, as of late last week.  They will come and assist her, her husband, and I in this stage of her living.  It has been the nuttiest time of transition as far as revelations go.  Her husband and I have operated for soooo long on the terms that worked for him and I.  "She'll eat at 11, 3 and 6", "Let's wake her up now and give her her meds", "I'll work from this time to this time due to beating the traffic home", "Schedule her an eye doctor's appointment", and so on and so on.  But last week, this all changed.  Her husband had wrote out a list with an objective friend.  "She hasn't wanted to go out on the porch all Spring."  "She hasn't wanted to go into the living room for months."  "She didn't want to eat two days ago."  "She wants the TV in the bedroom."  "She didn't want to wake up til 1:30."  While her ability to project her voice has waned, her actions have been loud and clear.  She has been withdrawing for months, but it only has really hit her husband and I as of last week.  She and I had a candid conversation about this.  She said she wishes to be let go.  I told her I was sorry that I had not been listening to her, but from here on out, I would be. 
  And so today, after having not have seen her since our last conversation, I listened.  And it was amazing how differently she wants her life to go as opposed to how her husband and I had been running it.  We used to wake her up at 11, take her blood sugars (she's diabetic), give her her insulin, read her Baha'i devotionals, get her breakfast, etc..  Today I went in there at 11, she wanted to sleep til noon.  I went in there at noon, she was sound asleep.  I checked on her at 12:30, 1, and then tried her again at 2.  She stirred herself awake at 2:30.  I asked her how I could help her, did she want food, did she want something to drink?  She said she wanted her blood sugars checked, and she wanted me to read to her her devotionals.   I did both...her blood sugars were fine, she knew it, I knew it, and she went back to sleep.  She knew exactly what she wanted, and, oh, my goodness, I felt soooo much more freedom for her.  I loved operating under her desires and not some formulaic schedule that worked a year ago, but no longer works now.  I love that even with all her disabilities she is still able to choose what works for her.  Her husband is a fix it kind of guy.  He knows he has done all that he could do, and now his job is to make her comfortable and without pain.  I was afraid that I was going to have to resist him on some of the new ways of doing things with hospice care, because he operates rather regimental, BUT he is on the same page as his wife and I.  She calls the shots.  We get the privilege to answer them.